The Onion

Monday, May 21, 2007

Couric's Ratings Woes

Eight months after Katie Couric took over as anchor, The CBS Evening News is a distant third in the nightly news ratings, and last week recorded its lowest audience in 20 years. What do you think?

Young Man

Emil Brun,
Day Laborer
"This is why you should never hire a woman, or anyone even remotely sane, to do Dan Rather's job."

Old Woman

Mila Kreszpy,
Recordkeeper
"How can she compete against cable news? They get to use the C-word."

Old Man

Matt Gander,
Systems Analyst
"I warned her. I said 'It's not like Today, Katie. You've got to know how to read,' but she wouldn't listen."

Personal of the Day