The Onion

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Fewer Boys Being Born

According to data gathered by the University of Pittsburgh, the number of male births has declined since 1970. What do you think?

Old Man

Jim Barker,
Crossing Guard
"I would be really worried about this if it wasn't swinging the ratio drastically in my favor."

Young Woman

Lydia Jourgensen,
Systems Analyst
"And yet the number of pigheaded, overbearing, aggressive cockwads continues to be the same. I hate men! I hate men! My boyfriend just dumped me."

Asian Man

Kevin Rieflin,
Contractor
"Looks like we won't have to worry about the toilet seat being left up for too much longer. Because the human race will be extinct. I mean, am I right, ladies?"

Personal of the Day