The Onion

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Flaws In FBI Watchlist

An audit revealed that there were notable inaccuracies over the past three years in information the FBI was providing to the government about terror suspects. What do you think?

Young Woman

Cynthia Meline,
FBI Agent
"The list's flaws are, at the very least, overstated. We will bring Osama bin Goldberg to justice."

Black Man

Jaime Bavitz,
Systems Analyst
"You can't expect the FBI to provide reliable information when they disavowed the supernatural for nine seasons on The X-Files."

Young Man

Marcus Haynes,
Personnel Manager
"Accurate, inaccurate—look, do they want the information or not?"

All American Voices

Personal of the Day