The Onion

Monday, May 14, 2007

Florida Crocs Make Nuclear Comeback

American crocodiles are making a comeback in Florida, thanks in large part to the protected canals surrounding the Turkey Point nuclear power plant. What do you think?

Old Man

Chris Campbell,
Systems Analyst
"The crocodiles serve an important function in the ecosystem by keeping nuclear-protester numbers manageable."

Old Woman

Gillian Lefferts,
Beer Delivery Man
"Is this one of those 'oh good, a revival of an endangered species' or 'oh no, our ecosystem will never recover' moments?"

Young Man

Darnel Jackson,
Animal Handler
"Hmm…crocodiles…nuclear power plants…Turkey Point…why am I still sitting here? South Florida, sir—and step on it!"

Personal of the Day