Haggard Scared Straight

Thursday, February 8, 2007

The Reverend Ted Haggard, who left his ministry amidst allegations of drug use and hiring male prostitutes is now reportedly "completely straight" after three weeks of therapy. What do you think?

Joseph Kennedy,
Cashier
"Man, that's faster than my recovery after ACL surgery. I should have just been gay instead."

Lyle Jacobs,
Big Rig Mechanic
"I'm skeptical. I'd want to see him have sex with a lady…my wife…I want to watch another man fuck my wife. Oh, God, what's wrong with me?!"

Victoria Slulum,
Punch-Press Operator
"It's true. I saw that press conference where reporters tempted him by waving a bunch of meth-covered cocks in his face, and he didn't even flinch."