The Onion

Monday, March 3, 2008

Highest Jailed Rate Ever

For the first time ever, one out of every 100 adults in the United States is in prison. What do you think?

Young Man

Kevin Slota,
Optometrist
"My goodness, that means that two out of every 100 adults are failures as parents."

Old Woman

Quinn Parnow,
Framer
"This points out the need for alternative sentencing, like making convicts serve food to the nation's growing prison population."

Old Man

Buck Jansen,
Systems Analyst
"I'm not sure if they're allowed newspapers, but I'll say it anyway: Hi to Cousin Dan, Uncle Orv, my stepsister Kelsee, and also Jeff, Tom, Billy, Nick, Cody, Kalim, the Serpent, and Lester Lee."

Personal of the Day