The Onion

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Homeland Security Waives Environmental Law

The Department of Homeland Security used its authority to waive environmental and land-management laws to complete a 670-mile border fence between the United States and Mexico. What do you think?

Asian Man

Anthony Rector,
Orthopedist
"Hey, sometimes you've got to break the rules to do what you know is right—unless that involves crossing a border, of course."

Old Man

Vic Brennan,
Police Officer
"They should at least have to make up for the damage by adding a nice trellis or some ivy."

Old Woman

Rosario Miller,
Personal Chef
"In the Department's defense, a lot of wildlife was sneaking across that border to do God knows what."

Personal of the Day