The Onion

Monday, December 17, 2007

Human Evolution Accelerating

According to a study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, rapid population growth is accelerating the evolutionary process. What do you think?

Old Man

Alexander Schneider,
Soda Delivery Person
"Did my wife put you up to this? I told her I want to stop at two."

Young Man

Anna Holsenbeck,
Package Sorter
"I'm no genius, but clearly this means the more babies I father, the faster I'll be able to fly."

Black Man

Kevin Benaim,
Chaplain
"Ah, this whole cock and bull theory will blow over in 10,000 years."

All American Voices

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