The Onion

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Meat Factory Explodes

An Arkansas meatpacking plant exploded on Sunday, destroying the factory and forcing nearly 200 people living nearby to evacuate their homes. What do you think?

Old Man

Louis Dahlkemper,
Airline Pilot
"It's nice to hear about a backwoods explosion that doesn't have anything to do with meth."

Young Woman

Meridith Hume,
Sociology Professor
"This is really frightening, but mostly because it means I might be able to project my thoughts into reality."

Asian Man

Timothy Rudgers,
Receptionist
"If Upton Sinclair were alive today, he'd be running into the street for free meat just like the rest of us."

All American Voices

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