The Onion

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Middle School Dispenses Birth Control

After 17 pregnancies were reported in its three middle schools in four years, the school board of Portland, ME, voted to allow the middle school health services to prescribe birth control. What do you think?

Old Woman

Katie Kolounakis,
Receptionist
"This is outrageous. I think my daughter should have to get pregnant at 13 just like I did."

Young Man

Paul Winthrop,
CAT Scan Technician
"I'm not sure birth control is the answer. Have they tried having an open, honest conversation with these kids about how they're going to hell?"

Asian Man

Billy Walton,
Systems Analyst
"This will only encourage students to engage in risky behavior like visiting doctors and going to school."

All American Voices

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