The Onion

Friday, December 21, 2007

Obesity Rates Plateau

Government health officials report that obesity rates in the United States have leveled off. What do you think?

Young Woman

Penelope LeBlanc,
Systems Analyst
"I don't get it. Did we run out of food?"

Young Man

Gabe Clail,
Housepainter
"I hope obesity rates don’t start actually decreasing. I’m barely considered attractive by comparison as it is."

Black Man

Keith Sherwood,
Watch Repairman
"At last, medical science has finally acknowledged the ‘big-boned’ phenomena."

Personal of the Day