The Onion

Monday, September 24, 2007

Peruvians' Mysterious Illness

Nearly 150 Peruvians claim that they have been made ill by a meteor that crashed in Carangas a week ago. What do you think?

Old Man

Doug Ng,
Systems Analyst
"That's what they get for licking a meteor."

Old Woman

Randi Sandoval,
Numerologist
"It's possible given the amount of dust it kicked up when it struck earth. But don't get me wrong, my money is still on aliens."

Young Man

Jared Iommi,
Legal Secretary
"If I believed everything 150 Peruvians told me, I'd still be trapped in Robert Redford's wine cellar. It's a long story."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day