The Onion

Friday, April 18, 2008

Plastics May Emit Toxins

A new report from the National Toxicology Program has raised concerns about bisphenol, a chemical found in baby bottles and sport water bottles that may be linked to breast cancer, prostate cancer, and early-onset puberty. What do you think?

Young Woman

Louise Banner,
Systems Analyst
"Well I guess that pink sports bottle they gave me for running the breast cancer 5K was some sort of sick joke."

Young Man

Ken Wooley,
Golf Pro
"Really? I'd better stop feeding my daughter until I can get her baby pictures taken."

Black Man

Dean Logan,
Bridge Inspector
"Please don't blame the bottles. Everyone knows that people who get prostate cancer have no one to blame but themselves."

Personal of the Day