The Onion

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Professional Porn Sales Down

Sales and rentals of adult DVDs are down 30 percent due to the rise in homemade Internet porn. What do you think?

Black Man

Robin Petersen,
Database Adminsitrator
"These thrifty Internet porn enthusiasts are missing out on the lifelong friends you make at adult shops."

Asian Man

Simon Stephens,
Florist
"That's the problem with the porn biz. No matter how low your price is for having an entire billiard-ball set shoved up your ass, there's always some punk waiting in the wings willing to do it for free."

Young Woman

Elizabeth Whaley,
Labor Mediator
"Yeah, that's my fault. Sorry."

Personal of the Day