The Onion

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Shark Gives Virgin Birth

A captive hammerhead shark recently gave birth to a pup without the presence of a male. What do you think?

Young Man

Lee Pryor,
Radio Engineer
"Jesus is a SHARK?!"

Young Woman

Nelly Perrin,
Teacher's Aide
"I am left in awe at the wonders of nature. No wait, not awe. Abject terror. Yes, that's it, abject terror."

Asian Man

José Manteca,
Dry Cleaner
"Maureen Dowd will be relieved: It turns out men aren't necessary. If you are a hammerhead shark, that is."

Personal of the Day