The Onion

Monday, February 4, 2008

Spy Satellite Going To Crash

An American spy satellite launched in 2006 has lost power and expected to fall to Earth in late February or early March. What do you think?

Young Man

Al Barber,
Systems Analyst
"Get your cameras out. If my calculations are correct, the impact will be at least a 7.4 on the Bruckheimer scale."

Old Woman

Rachel Mays,
Department Store Manager
"Just like the government, always trying to find a way to get their spy satellites in our business."

Old Man

Sean Monnahagn,
Security Guard
"I never knew there would be consequences to mankind's insatiable thirst for knowledge."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day