The Onion

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Stagehand Strike Shutters Broadway

Stagehands for Broadway plays are on strike, causing many performances to cancel. What do you think?

Black Man

Stu Bailey,
Septic Tank Pumper
"Finally, an excuse to force my children to learn all the parts to Les Miserables."

Old Man

Eli Kovacs,
Stylist
"You're asking me about Broadway shows? What are you getting at? I'll punch you in the face, dude, I swear. Back off."

Old Woman

Raissa Spees,
Tennis Pro
"That's a pretty weird tactic. Why not just drop a beam on an actor while he's performing? Someone should have thought a little harder about this."

Personal of the Day