mobile edition

At the AV Club: Best of the Decade

American Voices

Monday, November 17, 2008

Suicide Rate Jumps In White Middle-Aged Population

Between 1999 and 2005, the number of suicides among white middle-aged Americans increased 17 percent. What do you think?

Young Man

Carl Craig,
Systems Analyst
"But they have so many nice, if slightly boring, things to live for."

Old Woman

Ursula Zalben,
Mail Carrier
"Suicide when you're middle-aged is the coward's way out. Better to wait until you're over 70. Or, if you're still young, late teens is a good time, too."

Old Man

Ken Newbrogh,
Bartender
"Luckily for me, when I'm depressed I masturbate."

Recent American Voices »
More American Voices »

Meet Other Onion Readers

more personals »