mobile edition

At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

American Voices

Monday, July 23, 2007

Target Sold Illegal Silly String

Retailing giant Target has been fined $120,000 for selling illegally-imported silly string that contained hydrochlorofluorocarbons, the propellant that was banned for damaging the ozone. What do you think?

Old Man

Ali Goffrier,
Deck Hand
"Sure the gases eat holes in the ozone layer, but a well-aimed blanket of silly string will patch it right up."

Old Woman

Sarah Nichols,
Exporter
"Well, this is the simple reality of the situation until America can come up with sustainable, environmentally sound alternatives to foreign novelties."

Young Man

Harmony Klaus,
Systems Analyst
"$120,000! Where is Target supposed to come up with that kind of money?"

Recent American Voices »
More American Voices »

Meet Other Onion Readers

more personals »