The Onion

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Trump Quits The Apprentice

Donald Trump, host of the low-rated NBC television series The Apprentice, says he quit abruptly before the network could bump him from the schedule. What do you think?

Young Woman

Wendy Halpern,
Systems Analyst
"I can't knock a guy as successful as he is. The man single-handedly built an empire on nothing but a huge inheritance from his father."

Black Man

Remmick Seavey,
Horticulturist
"Does this mean 'you're fired' can become public domain again? I haven't able to let go of any of my employees for almost three years."

Young Man

Todd Palmer,
Graphic Designer
"What? Quick, cancel my subscription to Trump Magazine and my order of Trump Steaks! Pull my kids out of Trump University! Dump out my bottle of Donald Trump: The Fragrance! Sell, sell, sell! Sell, sell, sell!"

Personal of the Day