The Onion

Friday, May 4, 2007

Wal-Mart Fortune Left To Charity

The death of the Wal-Mart founder's widow, Helen Walton, is slated to become a $16.4 billion windfall for The Walton Family Foundation, a charitable organization that backs public education reform. What do you think?

Young Woman

Lacey Rasmussen,
Systems Analyst
"Helen Walton leaving her fortune to the Walton Family Foundation? This stinks of nepotism."

Young Man

Brendan Flaherty,
Concierge
"This mom-and-pop public education operation has been around long enough."

Black Man

Larry Keenan,
Grocer
"On the one hand, I don't care for Wal-Mart. On the other hand, I don't care for public education. So this rich dead lady is really starting to piss me off."

Personal of the Day