The Onion

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Weiland Out Of Velvet Revolver

Rock band Velvet Revolver has parted ways with singer Scott Weiland, saying in a statement that Weiland "wasn't 100 percent committed" to the fans or music. What do you think?

Asian Man

Jon Evans,
Blackjack Dealer
"How can anyone measure up to Slash's professional standards of excellence?"

Old Man

Oliver Topper,
Bank Teller
"If Weiland doesn't get sober, he'll end up just like Kurt Cobain. Actually, that's a bit extreme. He'll be more like Layne Staley."

Old Woman

Anya Lonberg-Holm,
Camera Salesperson
"It was a glorious run but after some albums and tours and interviews, I guess the time has come to move on."

Personal of the Day