The Onion

Monday, October 1, 2007

Western Gorilla Almost Extinct

According to the Western Conservation Union, the Western Gorilla is now closer than ever to global extinction. What do you think?

Old Man

Chris Walther,
Systems Analyst
"That's an interesting fact, but how is the Fatmucket Clam doing?"

Old Woman

Maria Smith,
Professional Scrapbooker
"Is there an address where we can send bananas?"

Young Man

Mike McDonnagh,
Rescue Diver
"Well, if Grape Ape was any indication, they weren't a very intelligent species, given their propensity riding on the roofs of cars."

All American Voices

Personal of the Day