News Archive
Browse The Onion's complete online news archives. You can also search the archives.
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May 14, 2008 | Issue 44•20
Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together • Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal • INFOGRAPHIC: Food Shortage Nearing Crisis
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May 12, 2008 | Issue 44•20
Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal • Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal • INFOGRAPHIC: Food Shortage Nearing Crisis
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May 9, 2008 | Issue 44•19
Local Bar Comes Out As Gay • Local Bar Comes Out As Gay • Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States • 30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle' • INFOGRAPHIC: Obama's Minister's Outrageous Comments
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May 7, 2008 | Issue 44•19
Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States • Local Bar Comes Out As Gay • Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States • 30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle' • INFOGRAPHIC: Obama's Minister's Outrageous Comments
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May 10, 2008 | Issue 44•19
Michel Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box • Local Bar Comes Out As Gay • Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States • 30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle' • INFOGRAPHIC: Obama's Minister's Outrageous Comments
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May 5, 2008 | Issue 44•19
30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle' • Local Bar Comes Out As Gay • Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States • 30 Years Of Man's Life Disappear In Mysterious 'Kansas Rectangle' • INFOGRAPHIC: Obama's Minister's Outrageous Comments
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May 3, 2008 | Issue 44•18
New 'Get The Fuck Outta The Road' Program Aims To Increase Pedestrian Safety • Potential Employee Uprising Quelled With Free Pizza • Man In Inner Tube Completes First Lazy Transatlantic Journey • Atlantic City Cocktail Waitress Crowned In Mistress USA Pageant • INFOGRAPHIC: Grand Theft Auto IV Hits Stores
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May 2, 2008 | Issue 44•18
Potential Employee Uprising Quelled With Free Pizza • Potential Employee Uprising Quelled With Free Pizza • Man In Inner Tube Completes First Lazy Transatlantic Journey • Atlantic City Cocktail Waitress Crowned In Mistress USA Pageant • INFOGRAPHIC: Grand Theft Auto IV Hits Stores
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April 30, 2008 | Issue 44•18
Man In Inner Tube Completes First Lazy Transatlantic Journey • Potential Employee Uprising Quelled With Free Pizza • Man In Inner Tube Completes First Lazy Transatlantic Journey • Atlantic City Cocktail Waitress Crowned In Mistress USA Pageant • INFOGRAPHIC: Grand Theft Auto IV Hits Stores
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April 28, 2008 | Issue 44•18
Atlantic City Cocktail Waitress Crowned In Mistress USA Pageant • Potential Employee Uprising Quelled With Free Pizza • Man In Inner Tube Completes First Lazy Transatlantic Journey • Atlantic City Cocktail Waitress Crowned In Mistress USA Pageant • INFOGRAPHIC: Grand Theft Auto IV Hits Stores
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