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FBI: Terrorist Attack On Golden Gate Bridge May Have Been Green-Screened

issue 4523 | 06.02.09

WASHINGTON—Sources said federal authorities revisited video of the tragic events of May 16 after a field agent noticed a bright, greenish...
KFC No Longer Permitted To Use Word 'Eat' In Advertisements

issue 4522 | 05.26.09

WASHINGTON—While "eat," "feast on," and "taste" remain off-limits, the FCC has approved the use of "purchase," "be near to," "look at," and...
Texas Constructs U.S. Border Wall To Keep Out Unwanted Americans

issue 4521 | 05.19.09

WICHITA FALLS, TX—"I have nothing personal against Americans," said Texas Governor Rick Perry. "I just think they should stay in America, where...
Detroit Mayor Throws First Brick In Glass-Breaking Ceremony For New Slum

issue 4520 | 05.12.09

DETROIT—After three years of construction and nearly $23,000 in public funds, the rat-infested, crime-ridden development will provide...
Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway

issue 4519 | 05.05.09

WASHINGTON—"This baby just needs a little scrub down," said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked his sweat-covered top into the belt...
Craigslist Server Contracts HPV

issue 4518 | 04.28.09

SAN FRANCISCO—"We tried to ignore the signs, but every day more and more of those weird wart-looking things appeared on our home page," said a...
God Makes Surprise Visit To Local Church

issue 4517 | 04.21.09

FAYETTEVILLE, NC—"Thought I'd just pop in and see how things were going. Please, pretend like I'm not even here," said the God of Abraham, Lord...