Toyota Expected To Recall Prius
"But I already got mine painted with the number of my organizing business!"
Wal-Mart Cuts Over 13,000 Of What It Calls Jobs
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Hospital Paperwork Reduces Man's Reading Comprehension To First-Grade Level
HOUSTON—The frustrating paperwork for a routine visit to St. Luke's Episcopal Hospital reduced Kenneth Anderson's reading comprehension to a first-grade level Monday, forcing the 39-year-old...
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Burger King Looks Open
SCHAUMBURG, IL—Sources from within the car driving slowly past the Burger King at Roselle and Hartford report that, despite the late hour, the restaurant looks as if it could possibly be...
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Struggling US Airways Introduces $100 Million Bomb Fee
TEMPE, AZ—With holiday traffic down almost 4 percent compared to last year and business continuing to decline, US Airways announced Monday that it would allow VIP customers to bring bombs on...
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Make-A-Reasonable-Request Foundation Provides Sick Child With Decent Seats To Minnesota Timberwolves Game
MINNEAPOLIS—A dream nearly came true for leukemia patient Cody Patterson last week when the Make-A-Reasonable-Request Foundation provided the 10-year-old with free tickets to a Timberwolves...
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Man Unable To Wear Nice Clothes Without Everyone Asking Questions
MENASHA, WI—Expressing his growing frustration, IT support technician Chris Brennan, 28, told reporters Monday that he is incapable of wearing a button-up shirt and khaki pants without every...
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Industrial Revolution Provides Millions Of Out-Of-Work Children With Jobs
After centuries of chronic unemployment, millions of small children across the United Kingdom saw their lives drastically improve when the Industrial Revolution at long last provided them with...
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Labor Dept: Available Labor Rate Increases To 10.2%
WASHINGTON—In what is being touted by the Labor Department as extremely positive news, the nation's available labor rate has reached double digits for the first time in 26 years, bringing...
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Gunman Thought Coworkers Would Be Back From Lunch By Now
NEW YORK—Rushing into the offices of Bird & Webb Publishing and aiming his semiautomatic rifle at a swath of empty cubicles, disgruntled office manager Harrold Schoepke was surprised Monday...
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Real Estate »
Live in the house where you probably lost your virginity!
Just about everybody hooked up at the high school parties Ron Haase threw at his folks' place. Now they're packing up and moving to a retirement community in Charlotte. So why not make love to your wife in the same room in which you awkwardly penetrated that weird girl from AP Chemistry? Reference #83484567
Real Estate »
Home…at last!
Profoundly warm and inviting, this perfect residence has everything you desire. Sounds expensive, right? Well, rejoice, for your true home is not an opulent building of brick or wood, but rather a state of mind: comfortable, secure, and forever welcoming. Reference #22218734
