Computer Injuries Sharply Increase
"I've always known information was harmful."
China Strong
Following approved article contains: Report on strength and might of China; Report on force and vigor of China; Report on how China will continue to succeed and never fail. more»
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American Consumer Masses Agree: It Fish Time!
AMERICA—Many citizens in the U.S. are enjoying Yu Wan Mei fish by-products, which are respected throughout the land for their deliciousness and ease of eating, sources confirmed...
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Nothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families
YANTAI, CHINA—In a non-news event, which did not occur and therefore warrants no coverage, nothing at all happened to 28 Tibetan protesters and their screaming families this Monday....
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Potato-Faced Youngster Lauded For Memorizing Primitive 26-Character Alphabet
PHOENIX—Christopher Pierson, a glassy-eyed, slothful lump of a child who still watches cartoons despite being tall enough to reach a polymer-injection molding station, was endlessly praised...
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Three Dozen Confirmed *@@## In Power Plant *@@##
*@@## PROVINCE—Emergency *@@## reported to the scene of a most *@@## early @##...
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Toddler Chokes To Death On Plastic Taiwanese-Made Toy
NASHVILLE, TN—Ryan Caldwell, a beautiful†4-year-old child, no doubt the very future of the Caldwell family and a promising young member of his nation, was choked to death Tuesday by a...
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Report: Majority Of Americans Proficient At Owing Large Sums Of Money
WASHINGTON—A new report has revealed that when it comes to the important matter of owing large sums of money, Americans display a level of expertise and proficiency unrivaled throughout the...
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Intellectual Property Rights As Fleeting As The Scent Of Jasmine, Mayfly's Wing In Autumn
BEIJING—Settling not on the industrious sons of China, nor on their ware-covered blankets, ownership rights of intellectual property fluttered silently by, unseen, on Monday, as does the...
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