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  Jean Teasdale

  Jean Teasdale has been The Onion's resident humor and human-interest columnist since 1987. She has been married to tire technician Richard "Rick" Teasdale for nearly 20 years. She resides in the Midwest, and is nearly 40 years old.

A Room Of Jean's Own

• Six Things I'd Like To Do Before I Die!

  Noticed lately all these books that list various things we should see or do before we earn our angel wings? I gotta say, what a brilliant idea. It...

• We're In An Economy-Sized Pickle!

  Refusing to buy all this news about the economy being in the ol' litter box? Well, believe it. It's true! And how does your pal Jean know this?...

• You Jeanketeers Could Have Said Something Earlier, You Know!

  Know that old adage "You learn something new every day"? Well, I don't believe it's literally true; before this weekend, I, myself, had only...

• Comedy Tonight!

  I'm still not sure what possessed me to walk into Laughingstock's Comedy Club and sign up for their open-mic night. But I guess sometimes the less...

• It's Not Too Late To Join Jeansperience '07!

  Finally, after weeks and weeks of wishing and hoping and planning and dreaming, Jeansperience '07 is happening this Saturday! Needless to say, I'm...

• Not One Of Those People

  Many people believe that being a notable public figure puts you above reproach or suspicion. Not true, says your old pal Jean. How do I know this?...

• Fabulous Trash

  Hmm...let's see how I'm doing on the New Year's resolutions so far:

  Well, I'm proud to say that I've stayed true and haven't had a...

• How Very Special

  I don't have to tell you Jeanketeers that Christmas is just around the corner, which means it's time for—you got it—TV Christmas...

• Shop Worn

  As I write this, I'm at Tacky's Tavern polishing off my third Long Island iced tea. (Nope, don't adjust your volume—you heard me right!) Now, normally, I believe the best highs come from life itself. But today, your old pal Jean requires a drinky-poo the size of an aqualung! (Actually, I prefer...

• Snowball In Hell

  If you're considering starting your own business, keep a few things in mind. First, you can't call in sick, and you may have to work very long hours, even if no customers show up for the entire day. Second, be prepared for weeks, or even months, to go by before you clear $50 a week in sales. Third,...