Shitload Of Math Due Monday 12.05.08

OLD BRIDGE, NJ—Students dreaded spending all day Sunday with some retarded math book, especially one that doesn't have any of the freaking answers in the back. more»

recent Education news »

Year Of Law School Now Mandatory For Nation's 25-Year-Olds 03.11.09

WASHINGTON—Under the provisions of a bill approved by Congress and signed into law Tuesday, every 25-year-old American, regardless of prior... …more »
Teenage Katrina Survivor Wins Yet Another Essay Contest 11.20.08

WASHINGTON—At an awards ceremony held yesterday for the 2008 Profiles in Courage Essay Contest, 17-year-old Hurricane Katrina survivor... …more »
Pedophile Nervous For First Day Of School 08.31.08

SEATTLE—"I hope the kids at Hampstead Elementary like me," 37-year-old Howard Dengal said. "It'd be nice to have someone to play with during recess." …more »
Superintendent Draws Up 'Dream School Board' Of All-Time Greats 08.23.08

BROWNSVILLE, IN—Peter Geyer passed on legend Frank Caldwell, saying his reputation was more based on mystique when his plane crashed after only one year on the board. …more »
6-Year-Old Stares Down Bottomless Abyss Of Formal Schooling 08.15.08

CARPENTERSVILLE, IL—Local first-grader Connor Bolduc, 6, experienced the first inkling of a coming lifetime of existential dread Monday upon recognizing his cruel destiny to participate in... …more »
First Night Of Freedom Spent Alone In Dorm Room 08.15.08

STATE COLLEGE, PA—Unhindered by a curfew and free from parental oversight, freshman Phil Melton, 18, spent his first night of independence Saturday inside his Pennsylvania State University... …more »
Alumni Furious Over High School's Constant Improvements 08.15.08

TRAVERSE CITY, MI—Former students of Traverse City High School became utterly incensed Wednesday after learning their alma mater had... …more »
Mystery Freshman Dominates Ice Breakers, Disappears Into Night 08.15.08

VALPARAISO, IN—Following an eerie series of events during their first common room meeting Monday night, freshmen residents of Brandt Hall at... …more »