Morrissey Stable After Onstage Collapse
"I'm tempted to say something sour and deprecating about Morrissey, but I'm sure he's already put it into verse."
Alternate-Universe Sci-Fi Channel Show Asks What Would Happen If Germany Lost War
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1999 Collaboration Between Carlos Santana, Rob Thomas Somehow Standing Test Of Time
LOS ANGELES—Sources reported Monday that "Smooth," the 1999 collaborative effort of guitarist Carlos Santana and singer-songwriter Rob Thomas, has somehow persevered against all odds and...
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Cherokee Nation Makes Headlines As Fraction Of Actress's Bloodline
CHICAGO—The proud and ancient Cherokee Nation was thrust into the spotlight during a taping of The Oprah Winfrey Show this week, taking center stage as one-eighth of actress Cameron...
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Timeless Masterpiece Liked
SANTA CLARA, CA—City Lights, the eternal Charlie Chaplin classic heralded by film scholars as a poignant and seminal work of 20th-century comic realism, was reportedly enjoyed by...
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Travel Channel Blows Its 'Bed And Breakfasts Of New England' Wad
GARRETT, MD—After airing four consecutive days of programming devoted to mulled cider, antique weather vanes, and changing foliage, the Travel Channel effectively blew its New-...
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Protagonist Scrolls Intensely Through Microfilm
NEW HAVEN, CT—A headstrong young protagonist in way over her head visited the microfilm room of the New Haven Public Library Tuesday night in order to delve deeper into a riveting plotline...
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Television, Processed Foods Couldn't Be More Proud Of Child They Raised
CHICAGO—After more than two decades of watching over and providing for him, the nation's television and processed food industries announced this week that they couldn't be more happy with...
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Mayan Calendar Warns Of Cataclysmic Roland Emmerich Film On Nov. 13
CHICHÉN ITZÁ, MEXICO—Scholars of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar warned Monday that, according to ancient Mayan calculations, a devastating film by German director Roland Emmerich is...
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Vince Vaughn Appears On 'Tonight Show' To Deceive Country About Latest Film
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Popular film actor Vince Vaughn appeared on NBC's Tonight Show Monday to brazenly and unapologetically deceive the American people about his latest movie, Couples...
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TV Listings
Let's Make A Baby
ABC
9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST
Contestants conceive children.
Elder Whisperer
CBS
8 p.m. EST/7 p.m. CST
Nina Jerome (Keri Russell) possesses the preternatural ability to pay attention to senior citizens and actually listen to what they have to say.
