The Onionhttp://www.theonion.com/contentContent updated daily from The Onion -- America's Finest News Sourceen-us2010In Focus: Man Who's 116th Irish Proud Of His Irish Heritagehttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/27838?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyWed, 17 Mar 2010 11:33:15 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27838?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNews What's Our Spring Cleaning Project?http://www.theonion.com/content/statshot/whats_our_spring_cleaning?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyWed, 17 Mar 2010 11:11:42 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/statshot/whats_our_spring_cleaning?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyStatshotSports: Musher Claims Free Agency Destroyed Chemistry Of Sled-Dog Teamhttp://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/musher_claims_free_agency?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyWed, 17 Mar 2010 10:53:43 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/musher_claims_free_agency?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySports NIB Growing Number Of Americans Distrust Censushttp://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/growing_number_of_americans?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyDespite the fact that the 2010 Census form is the shortest in recent history, some anti-government activists are refusing to answer any...]]>Wed, 17 Mar 2010 10:30:51 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/growing_number_of_americans?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyInfographic Obama To Revamp 'No Child Left Behind'http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/obama_to_revamp_no_child_left?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyyou think?]]>Wed, 17 Mar 2010 09:30:16 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/obama_to_revamp_no_child_left?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyAmerican Voices[audio] Exxon Paleontologists Call For Increased U.S. Fossil Productionhttp://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/exxon_paleontologists_call_0?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyTue, 16 Mar 2010 20:03:30 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/exxon_paleontologists_call_0?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyRadio Of Course Hair Stylist Remembers Ginahttp://www.theonion.com/content/from_print/of_course_hair_stylist?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyTue, 16 Mar 2010 12:16:02 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/from_print/of_course_hair_stylist?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNews In Photos[video] Congressman Demands To Know Who Left Fish Sandwich To Rot On House Floorhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/congressman_demands_to_know_who?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyTue, 16 Mar 2010 11:32:39 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/congressman_demands_to_know_who?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyOpinion: I Wasn't Going To Buy This House Until I Saw The Realtor's Headshot On The Sign (by Sam Cone)http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_wasnt_going_to_buy_this_house?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyTue, 16 Mar 2010 11:00:30 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/i_wasnt_going_to_buy_this_house?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyCommentarySports: Lazy Free Agent Wants To Try Out Over Phonehttp://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/lazy_free_agent_wants_to?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyTue, 16 Mar 2010 10:52:09 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/lazy_free_agent_wants_to?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySports NIB Obama Visits Kindergarten To Read Class 200-Page Memorandum On Health Carehttp://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/obama_visits_kindergarten?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyTue, 16 Mar 2010 10:04:50 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/obama_visits_kindergarten?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNews In Brief California Restaurant Busted For Serving Whalehttp://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/california_restaurant_busted_for?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyyou think?]]>Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:30:38 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/california_restaurant_busted_for?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyAmerican VoicesSlideshow: New York Cityhttp://www.theonion.com/content/news_in_photos/new_york_city?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyTue, 16 Mar 2010 08:30:45 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news_in_photos/new_york_city?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySlideshow[video] Kentucky Violated NCAA Rules While Recruiting Basketball-Playing Doghttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/kentucky_violated_ncaa_rules?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyMon, 15 Mar 2010 19:00:05 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/kentucky_violated_ncaa_rules?utm_source=onion_rss_daily New College Graduates To Be Cryogenically Frozen Until Job Market Improveshttp://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_college_graduates_to_be?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyMon, 15 Mar 2010 18:00:06 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_college_graduates_to_be?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNewsIn Focus: Soaring U.S. Divorce Rate Blamed On Local 11-Year-Oldhttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/29919?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyMon, 15 Mar 2010 12:15:10 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29919?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNewsSports: Pretentious Selection Committee Member Thinks Only 6 Teams Deserve Spots In NCAA Tournamenthttp://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/pretentious_selection?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyMon, 15 Mar 2010 10:48:50 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/pretentious_selection?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySports NIB Laser Pointer Aimed Toward Space In 1997 Finally Annoying Planet 13 Light-Years Awayhttp://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/laser_pointer_aimed_toward?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyMon, 15 Mar 2010 10:00:08 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/laser_pointer_aimed_toward?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNews In Brief Lesbian Teen Suing School Over Promhttp://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/lesbian_teen_suing_school_over?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyMon, 15 Mar 2010 09:36:45 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/lesbian_teen_suing_school_over?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyAmerican Voices Marijuana Use Triples Among Garyhttp://www.theonion.com/content/news/marijuana_use_triples_among_gary?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyMon, 15 Mar 2010 09:17:49 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news/marijuana_use_triples_among_gary?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNews[audio] Christian Rockers Deny Kicking Asshttp://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/christian_rockers_deny_0?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 14 Mar 2010 10:21:24 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/christian_rockers_deny_0?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyRadioSports: NHL, NASCAR To Punish Carl Edwards For Hit On Bruins' Marc Savardhttp://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/nhl_nascar_to_punish_carl?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySat, 13 Mar 2010 10:44:16 -0500http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/nhl_nascar_to_punish_carl?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySports NIB Racial Slur Development Not Keeping Pace With Mixed-Race Births, Nation's Bigots Reporthttp://www.theonion.com/content/news/racial_slur_development_not?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySat, 13 Mar 2010 09:00:03 -0500http://www.theonion.com/content/news/racial_slur_development_not?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNews Bandai Recalls Lady Gagahttp://www.theonion.com/content/from_print/bandai_recalls_lady_gaga?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyFri, 12 Mar 2010 14:32:53 -0500http://www.theonion.com/content/from_print/bandai_recalls_lady_gaga?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNews In PhotosSports: 'She's Probably A Money-Hungry Liar,' Extremely Nervous Steelers Fans Reporthttp://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/shes_probably_a_money?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyFri, 12 Mar 2010 14:00:25 -0500http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/shes_probably_a_money?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySports NIB