The Onionhttp://www.theonion.com/contentContent updated daily from The Onion -- America's Finest News Sourceen-us2008Beaver Overthinking Damhttp://www.theonion.com/content/news/beaver_overthinking_dam?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 01:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news/beaver_overthinking_dam?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyLocalNewsEnvironmentU.S. Ice Cubes Melting At Alarming Ratehttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/29388?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 02:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29388?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNewsPoliticsEnvironmentBush Vows To Remove Toxic Petroleum From National Parkshttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/28362?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 03:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28362?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNewsPoliticsEnvironmentBush AdministrationOilGeorge W. BushDeciding Vote On Wetlands Preservation Bill Rests With The Littlest Senatorhttp://www.theonion.com/content/news/deciding_vote_on_wetlands?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 04:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news/deciding_vote_on_wetlands?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyPoliticsNewsCongressEnvironmentMidgetsPoliticiansVatican Tightens Nocturnal Emissions Standardshttp://www.theonion.com/content/news/vatican_tightens_nocturnal?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 05:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news/vatican_tightens_nocturnal?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNewsChildrenPopeSexTeenagersChristianityHeroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbithttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/39180?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39180?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNewsNationalEnvironmentTexas Environmentalists Lobby For Solar-Powered Electric Chairhttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/32860?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/node/32860?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNews In BriefPoliticsCapital PunishmentEnvironmentEnergyTexasLegalDeathAlternative EnergySenate Subcommittee On Energy And Water Development More Like A Familyhttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/31759?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31759?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyNews In BriefPoliticsCongressTomato Genetically Modified To Be More Expensivehttp://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/tomato_genetically_modified?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/tomato_genetically_modified?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyScience & TechnologyNews In BriefDiet & Weightfoodshopping[audio] Life Jackets Issued To All Americans For Some Reasonhttp://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/life_jackets_issued_to_all?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 10:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/life_jackets_issued_to_all?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyOnion Radio News[audio] Endangered Manatee Struggles To Make Self Understood To Congresshttp://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/endangered_manatee_struggles?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/endangered_manatee_struggles?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyOnion Radio News[audio] Arizona Burned To Stop California Wildfirehttp://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/arizona_burned_to_stop?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 12:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/arizona_burned_to_stop?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyOnion Radio NewsBald Eagles Thrivinghttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/46207?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyyou think?]]>Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46207?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyAmerican VoicesAnimalsUnited StatesPolluting Nations Endorse Greenhouse-Gas Planhttp://www.theonion.com/content/node/45086?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 14:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45086?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyAmerican VoicesHoneybees Dying Mysteriouslyhttp://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/honeybees_dying_mysteriously?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyyou think?]]>Sun, 06 Jul 2008 15:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/honeybees_dying_mysteriously?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyScience & TechnologyAmerican VoicesScienceAnimalsWhere The Fuck Is Diane With My Fair-Trade Coffee?http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33988?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyUtne Reader travel mug, plunk down the money, and pick up the coffee. Add a little soy milk and two natural-cane sugar packets, and you make sure the lid is tight. That's so simple, even Diane should be able to do it without fucking up.]]>Sun, 06 Jul 2008 16:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33988?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyOpinionWorkplaceWe Must Preserve The Earth's Dwindling Resources For My Five Childrenhttp://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/we_must_preserve_the_earths?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 17:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/we_must_preserve_the_earths?utm_source=onion_rss_dailyOpinionFamilyEnvironmentFantasy Baseball Owner Rips Team In Mediahttp://www.theonion.com/content/news/fantasy_baseball_owner_rips_team?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySun, 06 Jul 2008 18:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/news/fantasy_baseball_owner_rips_team?utm_source=onion_rss_dailySportsSports NewsBaseball