60http://tv.theonion.com/en-us2009 The Onion, Inc.The Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.http://www.theonion.com/content/video/missing_girl_probably_rapedBloomington, IN police say they have absolutely no information about a missing college student. Alan Fisher investigates the possible rape.Local, News RoomNews RoomTue, 04 Sep 2007 01:01:07 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/missing_girl_probably_raped65977http://www.theonion.com/content/video/national_lost_and_found_did_youIf you've misplaced something, the National Department of Lost and Found is the place to turn.Local, ospanospanThu, 30 Aug 2007 01:01:40 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/national_lost_and_found_did_you65839http://www.theonion.com/content/video/beyonce_unhurt_after_stray_bulletTragedy was narrowly averted when a stray bullet bound for singer Beyonce thankfully struck and became lodged in a passerby.Celebrities, Entertainment, News RoomNews RoomMon, 27 Aug 2007 20:01:49 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/beyonce_unhurt_after_stray_bullet65657http://www.theonion.com/content/video/live_from_congress_the_skullU.S. Rep. Benjamin Sinclair (R-OH) has a plan to reduce skull fucking levels in America by 5 to 7 percent. Politics, ospanospanThu, 23 Aug 2007 01:01:14 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/live_from_congress_the_skull65542http://www.theonion.com/content/video/worlds_oldest_neurosurgeon_turnsNothing can stop Carl Wainwright from doing what he loves best -- performing surgery on the human brain.Business, News RoomNews RoomMon, 20 Aug 2007 20:01:14 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/worlds_oldest_neurosurgeon_turns65412