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Subscribe and watch right now.</description><item><title>[video] Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On</title><link>http://www.theonion.com/content/video/fat_kid_successfully_avoids</link><description>Today Now! brings you the inspiring story of Brian Peete, a fat boy who hid his obesity from other children at the pool by keeping his shirt on.</description><media:content url="http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2007/11/04/FAT_KID_iTunes.mp4" fileSize="20091445" expression="full" type="video/mp4" duration="147"><media:player url="http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2007/11/04/FAT_KID_iTunes.mp4" height="818" width="980"/><media:thumbnail url="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/FAT_KID.jpg" height="298" width="400"/><media:thumbnail url="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/FAT_KID_tabs.tabs.jpg" height="83" width="125"/><media:keywords>Local, Today Now</media:keywords></media:content><media:category>Today Now</media:category><pubDate>Tue, 27 Nov 2007 01:00:00 -0500</pubDate><guid>http://www.theonion.com/content/video/fat_kid_successfully_avoids</guid><dc:identifier>70281</dc:identifier></item><item><title>[video] Rep. Gary Nelson (R-CT) Introduces The Gary Nelson Personal Pay Raise Bill</title><link>http://www.theonion.com/content/video/rep_gary_nelson_r_ct_introduces</link><description>Congressman Gary Nelson has an economic plan to raise his family's standard of living.</description><media:content url="http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2007/11/03/PAY_RAISE_iTunes.mp4" fileSize="22255887" expression="full" type="video/mp4" duration="159"><media:player url="http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2007/11/03/PAY_RAISE_iTunes.mp4" height="818" width="980"/><media:thumbnail url="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/PAY_RAISE.jpg" height="267" width="400"/><media:thumbnail url="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/PAY_RAISE_new2.tabs.jpg" height="83" width="125"/><media:keywords>Politics, ospan</media:keywords></media:content><media:category>ospan</media:category><pubDate>Thu, 22 Nov 2007 01:00:00 -0500</pubDate><guid>http://www.theonion.com/content/video/rep_gary_nelson_r_ct_introduces</guid><dc:identifier>70191</dc:identifier></item><item><title>[video] Americans Enjoying Thanksgiving Tradition Of Sitting Around At Airport</title><link>http://www.theonion.com/content/video/americans_enjoying_thanksgiving</link><description>Thanksgiving is a time for far-flung family members to reunite with each other and share in holiday cheer at the airport.</description><media:content url="http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2007/11/03/THANKSGIVING_TRAVEL_iTunes.mp4" fileSize="11649486" expression="full" type="video/mp4" duration="70"><media:player url="http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2007/11/03/THANKSGIVING_TRAVEL_iTunes.mp4" height="818" width="980"/><media:thumbnail url="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/THANKSGIVING_TRAVEL.jpg" height="277" width="400"/><media:thumbnail url="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/THANKSGIVING_TRAVEL_new2.tabs.jpg" height="83" width="125"/><media:keywords>News Room</media:keywords></media:content><media:category>News Room</media:category><pubDate>Tue, 20 Nov 2007 01:05:00 -0500</pubDate><guid>http://www.theonion.com/content/video/americans_enjoying_thanksgiving</guid><dc:identifier>69998</dc:identifier></item><item><title>[video] How Can We Raise Awareness In Darfur Of How Much We're Doing For Them?</title><link>http://www.theonion.com/content/video/how_can_we_raise_awareness_in</link><description>Panelists discuss the tragic lack of media access in Darfur and how we can help Darfurians realize how much we're helping them. </description><media:content url="http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2007/11/02/DARFUR_MEDIA_iTunes.mp4" fileSize="18969221" expression="full" type="video/mp4" duration="153"><media:player url="http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2007/11/02/DARFUR_MEDIA_iTunes.mp4" height="818" width="980"/><media:thumbnail url="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/darfur.jpg" height="400" width="400"/><media:keywords>International, In The Know</media:keywords></media:content><media:category>In The Know</media:category><pubDate>Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:01:11 -0500</pubDate><guid>http://www.theonion.com/content/video/how_can_we_raise_awareness_in</guid><dc:identifier>69841</dc:identifier></item><item><title>[video] Medical Miracle: Man Lives Thanks To Heart Stolen From Dead Man</title><link>http://www.theonion.com/content/video/medical_miracle_man_lives_thanks</link><description>Start your day with our morning show, Today Now! Join hosts Jim and Tracy as they welcome Dave Portman, a real-life Frankenstein's monster.</description><media:content url="http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2007/11/02/DEAD_MANS_HEART_iTunes.mp4" fileSize="22230016" expression="full" type="video/mp4" duration="186"><media:player url="http://videos.theonion.com/onion_video/2007/11/02/DEAD_MANS_HEART_iTunes.mp4" height="818" width="980"/><media:thumbnail url="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/DEAD_MANS_HEART.jpg" height="267" width="400"/><media:keywords>Business, Today Now</media:keywords></media:content><media:category>Today Now</media:category><pubDate>Tue, 13 Nov 2007 01:05:00 -0500</pubDate><guid>http://www.theonion.com/content/video/medical_miracle_man_lives_thanks</guid><dc:identifier>69636</dc:identifier></item></channel></rss>