60Onion News Networkhttp://tv.theonion.com/en-us2009 The Onion, Inc.The Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.[video] Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Feverhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/chinese_officials_deadly_virusThe Chinese government explained that the fatal disease is caused by the excitement of the Olympics, not infected birds, as was previously reported.Health, China, Sports, Olympics, News RoomSportsMon, 11 Aug 2008 19:30:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/chinese_officials_deadly_virus84390[video] 'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Manhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/cosmopolitan_institute_completesCosmo scientists have finally cataloged every single way to satisfy your man's carnal cravings by stimulating his secret sex zones.Entertainment, Today Now, Women, Men, Sex, Fashion, RelationshipsToday NowWed, 06 Aug 2008 20:05:31 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/cosmopolitan_institute_completes84228[video] Pentagon's Unmanned Spokesdrone Completes First Press Conference Missionhttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/pentagons_unmanned_spokesdroneThe spokesdrone will field questions deemed too dangerous for a human press secretary, whose career could be irreparably damaged by answering them.Politics, News RoomNews RoomMon, 04 Aug 2008 19:30:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/pentagons_unmanned_spokesdrone83996[video] The Beijing Olympics: Are They A Trap?http://www.theonion.com/content/video/the_beijing_olympics_are_they_a'In The Know' Panelists discuss whether our athletes will be able to escape from the bamboo cages the Chinese government will try to imprison them...Sports, In The KnowSportsWed, 30 Jul 2008 19:30:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/the_beijing_olympics_are_they_a83729[video] Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politicshttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/study_finds_young_people_remainOrganizations hope to make youth see importance of getting prime parking spaces or a new desk lamp.Business, Office, Coworkers, Jobs, workplace, News RoomNews RoomMon, 28 Jul 2008 19:30:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/study_finds_young_people_remain83607