60http://tv.theonion.com/en-us2009 The Onion, Inc.The Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.http://www.theonion.com/content/video/latest_poll_reveals_430_newA recent election poll indicates vegan independents and skydiving widowers are among the groups that will have a major impact in November.Politics, politicsMon, 18 Aug 2008 23:04:34 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/latest_poll_reveals_430_new84818http://www.theonion.com/content/video/astronaut_suspects_nasa_using_himMission specialist Robert Barrett first became suspicious when he noticed most of his tasks involved measuring his waist and eating cookie dough.Business, ospanospanWed, 13 Aug 2008 19:30:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/astronaut_suspects_nasa_using_him84526http://www.theonion.com/content/video/chinese_officials_deadly_virusThe Chinese government explained that the fatal disease is caused by the excitement of the Olympics, not infected birds, as was previously reported.Health, China, Sports, Olympics, News RoomSportsMon, 11 Aug 2008 19:30:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/chinese_officials_deadly_virus84390http://www.theonion.com/content/video/cosmopolitan_institute_completesCosmo scientists have finally cataloged every single way to satisfy your man's carnal cravings by stimulating his secret sex zones.Entertainment, Today Now, Women, Men, Sex, Fashion, RelationshipsToday NowWed, 06 Aug 2008 20:05:31 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/cosmopolitan_institute_completes84228http://www.theonion.com/content/video/pentagons_unmanned_spokesdroneThe spokesdrone will field questions deemed too dangerous for a human press secretary, whose career could be irreparably damaged by answering them.Politics, News RoomNews RoomMon, 04 Aug 2008 19:30:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/pentagons_unmanned_spokesdrone83996