60Onion News Networkhttp://tv.theonion.com/en-us2009 The Onion, Inc.The Onion News Network is the 24-hour cable TV news choice for billions of viewers in 811 countries. Now the hard-hitting, award-winning news you need is available anytime and anywhere you want. Subscribe and watch right now.[video] Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Arehttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/obama_win_causes_obsessiveThe revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly.Politics, Barack ObamaWed, 05 Nov 2008 15:00:24 -0500http://www.theonion.com/content/video/obama_win_causes_obsessive89632[video] Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As Presidenthttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/voting_machines_elect_one_ofVoting machine DRE700 came out of nowhere to defeat Barack Obama and John McCain and become the first machine president.Politics, VotingTue, 04 Nov 2008 01:19:52 -0500http://www.theonion.com/content/video/voting_machines_elect_one_of89550[video] Barbara Bush Runs Aground Off Coast Of Mainehttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/barbara_bush_runs_aground_offRescue crews have been working day and night to free the former first lady, who has been unable to extricate herself from the sand.People, politics, News RoomNews RoomSat, 01 Nov 2008 11:00:21 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/barbara_bush_runs_aground_off89387[video] In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_has_halloween_becomePanelists discuss whether Halloween candy and costumes have distracted us from placating demons to ensure a bountiful harvest.Business, In The Know, HolidaysIn The KnowTue, 28 Oct 2008 20:00:00 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_has_halloween_become89181[video] Obama Undertakes Presidential Internship To Ease Concerns About His Lack Of Experiencehttp://www.theonion.com/content/video/obama_undertakes_presidentialObama's duties in the Spanish government will include collating documents, negotiating treaties, and presiding over national days of mourning.workplace, Barack ObamaMon, 27 Oct 2008 17:25:01 -0400http://www.theonion.com/content/video/obama_undertakes_presidential89074