Auction Won By Crab With $20 Stuck In Claw
04.28.09 | Issue 45•18
Ex-Con Back Behind Bar
05.05.09 | Issue 45•19
Renée Zellweger No Longer Renée Zellweger Type
05.02.09 | Issue 45•18
Last Few Republican Senators Form Roman Tortoise
04.26.09 | Issue 45•17
Sentient Couch Thinks It Would Look Good Over By The Window
05.17.00 | Issue 36•18
Pacifist Linebacker Dodges NFL Draft
04.30.97 | Issue 31•16
New Railway Line To Be Built Straight Up Your Ass
10.22.96 | Issue 30•11
Previous
Next
Oprah Viewers Patiently Awaiting Instructions
The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
© Copyright 2009 Onion Inc. All rights reserved.
more personals »