Pet's Death Text Messaged
03.13.06 | Issue 42•11
Hanes Introduces New No-Way Panties
03.17.06 | Issue 42•12
World's Most Advanced Yo-Yo Doesn't Need You
If Hamster Only Knew What Happened To Last Hamster
03.06.06 | Issue 42•10
Lottery Winner Burns Money In Faces Of Poor Children
10.16.96 | Issue 30•10
Woman With Really Pointy Feet Finds Perfect Shoes
11.17.04 | Issue 40•46
Tony Randall Secedes From Union; Declares Himself Independent Nation Of Randalia
11.05.96 | Issue 30•13
Previous
Next
Nation Descends Into Chaos As Throat Infection Throws Off Obama's Cadence
The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
© Copyright 2009 Onion Inc. All rights reserved.
more personals »