Jackie Harvey
Jackie Harvey graduated from Viterbo University with a degree in English literature in 1990. After honing his writing and copy-editing skills at The Sunshine Shopper, he became The Onion's entertainment columnist in 1994, replacing the outgoing Archie "Arch" Danielson. Currently, Harvey writes his regular column, "The Outside Scoop," as well as his blog, "Harveywood!"
HarveyWood 2006 Oscars
-
Mon, Feb 26, 12:21 amOkay, I'm bushed. What an Oscars! A four-hour roller coaster ride of awards and bathroom breaks! I hope you liked our little experiment in blogging. I hope you are staying tuned for the final credits, like I am, so you can hear the musical tribute to the movies. From Top Gun to Arthur, that medley is taking me on a journey. A journey...of magic. Until next time, I'll see you...on the Outside!
-
Mon, Feb 26, 12:16 amOkay, Martin Scorsese won after years of missing out. Good for him. But to overlook The Queen?!? for some acceptance speech by a sausage-necked guy for a crime thriller? What happened to human emotion! Well, that's the Oscars for you. Plenty of surprises.
-
Mon, Feb 26, 12:14 amI don't even care who wins at this point. It's just good to see Jack Nicholson on stage looking great.
-
Mon, Feb 26, 12:09 amHe must have had 20 years of speeches waiting inside of him.
-
Mon, Feb 26, 12:07 amI was in the bathroom. Can someone tell me who won?
-
Mon, Feb 26, 12:00 amBathroom break!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 11:55 pmHow great is my life! Finally, The Queen gets its due! Hellen Myron just nailed the Queen mum! At least the Academy has its pulse on what Americans want to see. Kudos to you, Acedemy of Motion Picture Sciences.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 11:50 pmThey kept the death montage short this year. That's a huge relief. They're finally coming around to the fact that the Oscars are for the living! That said, I was sad to see that Tamara Dobson, aka Cleopatra Jones had passed on. I love that movie. Godspeed, Ms. Dobson.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 11:44 pmApparently, the Academy doesn't appreciate long, beuatiful takes of regal matriarchs in a state of mourning, or The Queen would have taken Best Editing for sure. That's the MTV effect for you!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 11:41 pmOh beautiful for spacious skies
For Amber waves of grain
For purple mountains majesty
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee!
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea! -
Sun, Feb 25, 11:31 pmTalk about jitters! Melissa Etheridge just thanked her wife?!? I think she meant husband. Easy mistake to make when those lights are in your eyes.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 11:28 pmNow I totally have to see Dreamweaver! I love soul music and drama.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 11:20 pmThank god! There's plenty of Oscar magic ahead!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 11:16 pmSo a freakshow roadtrip with a four-eyed little girl and a junkie granddad wins a Best Screenplay award when the real suffering of the Queen mum loses out? I can't believe it. How can that happen?
-
Sun, Feb 25, 11:04 pmBetween the Mexicans and the Italians, The Oscars just may give the United Nations a run for their money. Better watch out Kofi Ananon!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:59 pmI kind of wish I was just able to sit back and take in the magic.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:55 pmI've been a fan of Ennio Morricone since Red Sonja, and he continued to amaze me in Voyage Of Terror: The Achile Lauro Affair and Bulworth. It's good to see him finally get his due.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:48 pmItem! Is it just me, or does Jerry Seinfeld really know how to build up suspense for an award? But even I could have told you that this category is dominated by ex-Vice Presidents. Spiro Agnew swept three years in a row in the 70s.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:38 pmCeline Dion. Leo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet. This only confirms the rumors I've been hearing. Titanic 2 coming up!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:34 pmI didn't even know Snakes On A Plane was nominated.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:21 pmBathroom Break!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:18 pmI love those dancers, but what does a guy trying to catch the bus have to do with the Oscars?
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:17 pmWith Gwen Paltrow presenting an award, it makes me wonder: what will be the For The Love Of Shakespeare moment this year? You know, the one where everyone is overcome with emotion just as much as teh recipient?
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:15 pm...Sherry Lansing wins the Humanitarian Award! Kudos, Ms. Lansing!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:05 pmFor Marie Antionette! I don't remember that movie, but I'll sure rent it. I always thought that I would make a good costume designer. By the way, I loved the speech, what I could understand of it.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 10:01 pmMy co-columnist The Hater is also working on the Oscars. Go check her out! She hates a lot of things, but she's still got spunk.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 9:53 pmBathroom break!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 9:48 pmWithout goodie bags, Cameron Diaz just didn't have the incentive to act like she cared when she presented the best animated film award. She just phoned it in. And she needs some of that expensive moisturizer that they put in them.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 9:44 pmis it just me, or has Best Supportting Actor nominee Haley Joel Osment aged very poorly? And since when has Jack Nicholson been bald?
-
Sun, Feb 25, 9:35 pmEnergy saving tips from a cancer survivor! But Melissa Etheridge could make the phone book interesting if you showed it on screen behind her while she was performing.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 9:28 pmThe dance! It's the kind of 24 karrat entertainment I've come to expect from the Kodak Theatre. Who expected those people to turn into penguins? Not me!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 9:25 pmAn Oscar I can think my teeth into! I mean, it's best supporting actor. I've been a fan of Alan Alda since M*A*S*H, so I was happy to see him win. I expected a better speech from him, though. Something with one of his trademark zingers that he gave from the operating table.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 9:16 pmWith the sound effects choir thing how can the director not be that guy from Police Academy?!? Now there's some Hollywood royalty!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 9:09 pmBathroom Break!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 9:02 pm...for Oscar presentation! They were so cute!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:59 pmEven Apocalypto was nominated for an Academy Award for something. Even though it lost to Pan's Labytinth. I hope a movie that I've seen wins soon.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:55 pmiPhone! With all those celebrities saying "Hello," I wasn't sure where they were going, but suddenly, they showed iPhone and it all made sense! Move over Super Bowl, the Oscars are now the place for great commercials.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:47 pm...two Spanish speaking people for set decoration and art direction of Pan's Labryinth. I haven't seen that yet, but it their movie is as good as their speech? I'll be first in line tomorrow. By the way, getting an Oscar from Daniel Craig would be great but to be truthful I'm still hoping Pierce Brosnan comes to his senses.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:45 pmCome on, Ellen, don't fall into the political trap as well. I may have my opinions about the President, but this is not the time or place to share them. And how did Orville Redenbacher get seated BEHIND Leonardo DiCaprio? Age before beauty, I always say!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:39 pmI'm cracking up! Ellen looks so frumpy though! Why didn't she wear some Vera Wang or someone else?
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:34 pmis this the salute to the people who died? Are they in heaven? Why is Eddie Murphy in there? He's not dead, I think.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:28 pmItem! After a SECOND preshow, I am more primed then ever.Micheal Clark Duncan was absolutely perfect in his pre-show fashion commentary role. He's versatile the day is long. Anyway, I'd better use the bathroom before it begins.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:20 pmThe Oscar pre show always entertains but I like it best when it informs as well. I had no idea she was so involved in South Africa, but how about Oprah Winfrey and her Starfleet Academy there? What can't this woman accomplish when she puts her mind to it?
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:18 pmWhen a show is supposed to start at 8:00, it should start at 8:00. What ever happened to professionalism?
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:06 pmLisa Ling is back! I wondered what happened to her after The View, and now I know. Hopefully, this means that there's Oscar hope for Star Jones!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 8:00 pmI can hardly stand the excitement! Will Ellen be as good as Billy Crystal? I'm going to have to say no, but I still want to see what she says! I'm always rooting for her, ever since she had that thing happen with her ex. Better go to the bathroom before it starts.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 7:30 pm...I don't think that the Oscar red carpets are the right place to pursue a political agenda. I mean, you named four great talents, but it's really unlkely that they will all win based on skin color. I'm still a big fan of you and the other people you named, but sheesh! We watch the Oscars so we don't HAVE to think about stuff like this for a night.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 7:20 pmOh my gosh, can you believe what just happened? Ryan Seecrest just showed his underwear! And right in front of Helen Myron! LOL! I hope that they don't get fined. It was just a little innocent fun. But Seriously, if this happened during the Oscars itself, I would say it was way too far.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 7:05 pmJennifer from American Idol looks good! And that message from Simon Cowell really made me tear up. It's nice to see two old friends catch up from miles away. I wish I had seen Dreamcatcher, but I can always catch it on DVD in a few weeks.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 6:56 pmWhy does Penelope Cruie sound so weird?
-
Sun, Feb 25, 6:54 pmShe either looks old or she's had some work done. And I am glad Ryan Seacrest could introduce her to Penelope Cruise! He definitely facilitates freindships.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 6:41 pmI miss Joan, to be sure, but Ryan Seecrest is doing a good job. Plus, I didn't know Alec Baldwin was nominated?!? Let alone for best documantary. He seems so tired, but his wife looks great.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 6:21 pmI know it's a little late to get into the office Oscar pool, but I have a prediction. Look for The Queen to take it all! At least everything it's nominated for. Princess Diana practically comes back to life in this movie about the royal fallout after her tragic death. If Dame Judy Dench gets the snub for her performance as the Queen Mum, then I will buy a new hat so I can eat it! I'd just eat my hat, but I only have one, my winter stocking cap, and it's too chilly to commit to eating it. Not that I should have to, but it's better to be warm than sorry!
-
Sun, Feb 25, 6:03 pmI got some mozarella sticks and a big bowl of chips and salsa, but my remote is nowhere to be found! Isn't that the way it always goes? Be back in a few.
-
Sun, Feb 25, 9:27 amEven though the Oscars are 11 1/2 hours away, I am starting my preparations now. I just finished vacuuming, washed my two vavorite Oscar pillows, and I'm on my way to the store for some Academy snacks! Se you soon!