Scientists Replace Penile Tissue In Rabbits
"I'd like to hear more about this. I have a friend who's interested in potential cures for impotence. His name is Sam Bailey, and he lives in Toledo, OH."
Montessori School Of Dentistry Lets Students Discover Their Own Root Canal Procedures
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Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla
ROANOKE, VA—Local claims adjuster David Seaborne, a devoted husband and father of three, died Tuesday at the age of 37 following a long and painful personal battle with a 512-pound eastern...
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Obama: Health Care Plan Would Give Seniors Right To Choose How They Are Killed
WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama held a nationally televised address Tuesday to "clarify any misunderstandings" about his health care proposal, assuring Americans that under the new bill...
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Kid With Cancer Hopes To Realize Dream Of Meeting Competent Oncologist
MINNEAPOLIS—Despite visits from Olympic snowboarder Shaun White and film actor Ryan Reynolds, 13-year-old Corey Duthers announced Tuesday that before he dies he wants more than anything to...
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Report: Some Kid's Head Cracked Open In Gym This Morning
NAPERVILLE, IL—-In an event that everyone at James Madison Junior High is calling really freaking gross, some kid's head got cracked open Wednesday during third-period gym class....
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20 Million Americans Without Health Care Attend Painful, Labored March On Washington
WASHINGTON—With Congress once again turning its attention to health care reform, millions of uninsured Americans made their hoarse and sickly voices heard Monday when they left their...
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Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize For Medical Advancements Down There
STOCKHOLM—In recognition of her groundbreaking work treating life- threatening diseases of the privates, renowned hoo-ha specialist Dr. Victoria Lazoff was awarded the Nobel Prize in Lady...
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FDA Approves Salmonella
WASHINGTON—Calling it "perfectly safe for the most part," and "not nearly as destructive or fatal as previously thought," the Food and Drug Administration approved the enterobacteria...
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Horde Of Orange Monsters Exits Local Tanning Salon
HOBOKEN, NJ—Terrifying every innocent bystander in its wake, a menagerie of hideously hued orange beasts burst from the Hollywood Tans on Washington Street Tuesday and marched aimlessly...
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