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September 16, 1997 - September 22, 1997 | Issue 32•07

Bluesman Announces 12-Bar Delay In Bringing It On Home

CHICAGO—Area bluesman Willie "Skipbone" Johnson announced plans late Saturday to extend his rendition of the Robert Johnson standard "Dust My Broom" by an additional 12 bars before recapitulating the chorus and bringing it on home. "We going to keep this thing going," said the Mississippi-born Johnson, 63, officially announcing the delay to an estimated crowd of 250...

Scientists Discover Wrinkle In Time-Life Continuum

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News

PASADENA, CA—According to scientists, a stable 10-day window exists in which any book can be returned at no risk. more»
U.S. Agriculture Secretary: 'Aw, Let's Not Do Farming Anymore'

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News

DES MOINES, IA—Citing the massive economic woes plaguing the nation's farmers and the severe physical hardship of farming itself, U.S. Secretary of... more»
Buck-Naked Man Stresses Importance Of Proper Schooling

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Buck-naked Dr. Donald Scherr addressed students and educators about the state of American education. more»
Rwanda Gets Plant

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News

KIGALI, RWANDA—Wracked by years of famine and political unrest, Rwanda bought a plant in an effort to "brighten things up." more»
Airline Food Under Fire From Area Comedian

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News In Brief

ROYAL OAK, MI—The airline industry is reeling following a scathing indictment of its in-flight cuisine Saturday by stand-up comedian Tony... more»
Sales Disappointing For First-Ever Hustler Swimsuit Issue

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News In Brief

LOS ANGELES—Spokespersons for Larry Flynt Publications are scrambling to explain the poor sales of Hustler magazine's first annual swimsuit issue,... more»
'Underground Railroad' Carries Slaves From Brooklyn to Manhattan

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News In Brief

NEW YORK—It was learned Monday that for many decades, an "underground railroad" has been in operation in New York City, transporting thousands of... more»
Elton John Wows Mother Theresa Funeral Crowd With 'The Bitch Is Back"

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News In Brief

CALCUTTA—Over 12,000 mourners at Saturday's funeral for Mother Teresa were treated to a performance of "The Bitch Is Back" by Elton John. The... more»
Local Dad Gets This Show On The Road

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News In Brief

ASHEVILLE, NC—Citing an abundance of great things to do in Virginia Beach and a limited amount of time in which to do them, area husband and father... more»
SAT Found To Be Biased In Favor Of Non-Hungover

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News In Photos
FD&C Blue #5 To Restore Beauty Of World's Oceans

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News In Photos
Could Australia Be Building Another Yahoo Serious?

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News In Photos
Woman Saves 75 Cents

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | News In Photos
Merry Zweibelmas To You!

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | Columnists

The season of the Zweibelmas-tide is upon us at long last! Only a few shopping-days remain before Sept. 21, the glorious and solemn Day of the... more»
I Simply Refuse To Look At Catalogs Anymore!

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | Columnists

I realize I'm not the only person in the world with credit-card debt, but I just about died of shock when I got my bill last month. Where does the... more»
Point/Counterpoint: Point/Counterpoint: We Must Do Everything We Can For The Children vs. Children, Schmildren

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | Point-Counterpoint

Do you realize that a recent UNICEF study showed that nine million U.S. children suffer from malnutrition? And that 2,699 infants are born into... more»
Horoscope for the week of September 16, 1997

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | Horoscopes

The rise of Orion in the night sky, combined with the approach of the equinox, is a dire portent. Soon it will become cold, and frozen water shall... more»
Improving Airline Safety

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | Infographic

In the wake of last year's TWA Flight 800 disaster, the FAA is instituting strict new guidelines to make flying safer. Among the changes: more»
Public Funding For Stadiums

issue 3207 | 09.16.97 | What Do You Think?

Taxpayers and politicians in a number of U.S. cities are deeply divided over proposed multi-million-dollar, taxpayer-funded sports stadiums. What do... more»