Celebrating 10 Years Online

THE ONION DISPATCH

DAILY
WEEKLY

More Newsletters

PERSONAL OF THE DAY



What Do You Think?

A Woman In The White House?

Elizabeth Dole's recent decision to leave the Red Cross is regarded by many as a sign that she will run for president in 2000. What do you think about the prospect of a first-ever female president?


Astrology

This Week’s Horoscopes

Capricorn: Your innocent inquiry regarding the origin of the term "panhandler" incites three bums to beat you to death with cast-iron skillets.

Infographic

Boy-Group Mania

Boy-Group Mania

Opinion

From Our Sponsors

From the Archives

Stick Shift Bragged About

December 11, 2003 | Issue 39•48

Plan To Live In Storage Facility Voiced

October 1, 2003 | Issue 39•38

Deaf Man's Deaf Friends Way Too Into Deaf Culture

February 6, 2002 | Issue 38•04

Man With Hodgkin's Disease Way Over Sick-Day Limit

October 25, 2000 | Issue 36•38

Congress Allocates $1.4 Billion For Development Of Inner-City Youths' Rhyming, Dribbling Skills

March 4, 1998 | Issue 33•08

© Copyright 2008, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.
The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
Powered By Rackspace