Celebrating 10 Years Online

THE ONION DISPATCH

DAILY
WEEKLY

More Newsletters

PERSONAL OF THE DAY



What Do You Think?

Hand-Transplant Surgery

On Jan. 25, a 37-year-old New Jersey man became the first person ever to receive a hand transplant in the U.S. What do you think about this medical breakthrough?


Astrology

This Week’s Horoscopes

Aquarius: You will finally find a job that enables you to call people at home and bother them about their long-distance carriers.

From Our Sponsors

From the Archives

Government May Restrict Use Of Genetically Modified Farmers

June 22, 2005 | Issue 41•25

20 Percent Of Area Man's Income Spent Ironically

September 26, 2002 | Issue 38•35

Dedicated Student Cartoonist Takes On Campus Issues

July 19, 2000 | Issue 36•24

Family Dog Ignored For 11th Straight Year

June 3, 1998 | Issue 33•21

U.S. Defense Secretary: 'I Am In Love'

September 2, 1997 | Issue 32•05

© Copyright 2008, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.
The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
Powered By Rackspace