The Onion

Previous February 17, 1999 - February 23, 1999 | Issue 35•06 Next

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Better Late Than Never: To Kill A Mockingbird

Celebrating 10 Years Online

In Brief

God Proclaims Raspberries 'Now Even More Berrilicious'

Corporate-Welfare Recipients: Are They Eating Steak And Driving Cadillacs?

Today is a typical day for 51-year-old J. Gordon Grantham III, as he drives his luxury-model Cadillac to a favorite restaurant to meet with potential investors. Over a lunch of $45 porterhouse steaks, a deal is brokered, and, using his company credit card, Grantham picks up the tab.

At first glance, this scenario might not seem terribly unusual. But J. Gordon Grantham III is one of the nation's approximately 2.6 million recipients...

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What Do You Think?

Protecting Chelsea's Privacy

A recent People cover story about Chelsea Clinton prompted an angry response from President Clinton and the First Lady, who have shielded their daughter from media scrutiny throughout their time in Washington. What do you think about the First Daughter's right to privacy?

Astrology

This Week’s Horoscopes

Aquarius: You will be lynched by an angry mob of leather-clad burnouts when they find out that it was your idea to use "Crazy Train" to sell SUVs.