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National Funk Congress Deadlocked On Get Up/Get Down Issue

National Funk Congress Deadlocked On Get Up/Get Down Issue CHOCOLATE CITY—After months of ceaseless debate, including last week's record 76-hour filibuster slap-bass solo from Senate Rubber Band Minority Leader Bootsy Collins (D-OH), the National Funk Congress is no closer to resolving its deadlock over the controversial "get up/get down" issue, insiders reported Monday.

"Get up-uh, get on up! Get up-uh, get on up!" shouted Getuplican Party supporters on the ...

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What Do You Think?

The Declining Crime Rate

It was announced last week that the U.S. crime rate is down for the seventh year in a row, falling to its lowest level since 1985. What do you think about this decline in American violence?


Astrology

This Week’s Horoscopes

Scorpio: Don't fight the turning of the seasons: Time marches on, no matter how many leaves you glue back onto the trees.

Infographic

Women's Boxing On The Rise

Women's Boxing On The Rise

StatShot

Worst-Selling Halloween Costumes

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From the Archives

'Iraqi Gandhi' Preaches Slightly Less Violence

March 6, 2006 | Issue 42•10

Dysfunctional Family Statistically Average

June 23, 2004 | Issue 40•25

Gores Enjoying Best Sex Of Their Lives

March 20, 2002 | Issue 38•10

Area Fifth-Grader Won't Shut Up About Raccoons

June 24, 1998 | Issue 33•24

Posters of Naked Women Fail to Draw Real Naked Women to Dorm Room

September 25, 1996 | Issue 30•07

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