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April 12, 2000 - April 18, 2000 | Issue 36•13

Freshman Psych Student Diagnoses Roommate With Bipolar Disorder

PORTLAND, OR–In a breakthrough discovery Monday, Portland State University freshman and Psychology 101 student Steve Wenger diagnosed roommate Chad Doane with bipolar disorder. ..

South Postpones Rising Again For Yet Another Year

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News

HUNTSVILLE, AL—According to Dock Mullins, the South will rise again as soon as he gets his old truck fixed up. more»
Nation Shocked By Pre-Natal Shooting

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News

ALBUQUERQUE, NM–Investigators are trying to determine what led an unborn child to fatally shoot his twin with a .38-caliber revolver during an... more»
Insurance Executive Fakes Own Life

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News

WARREN, MI—Gordon Krumrie admitted that he faked his own life to collect a substantial insurance payoff. more»
Eleven-Year-Old Has Miniskirt, Pumps, Vague Notion Of What Sex Is

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News In Brief

EL CENTRO, CA–According to reports, area 11-year-old Brianna Kimble possesses a black miniskirt, red-vinyl pumps with two-inch heels, and a vague... more»
NAACP Demands Less Minority Representation On UPN

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News In Brief

BALTIMORE–Decrying the strong presence of African Americans on such programs as Malcolm & Eddie, Shasta, and The Parkers,... more»
Message Under Juice Cap Totally Applies To Area Woman

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News In Brief

GOOSE CREEK, TX–An inspirational message printed on the underside of an Elliott's Amazing Apple Juice bottle cap "totally applies" to area resident... more»
Spelling Error Leads To Elaborate Cover-Up Doodle

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News In Brief

OREM, UT–A spelling error led to an elaborate cover-up doodle Monday, when Lisa Cone, 16, buried evidence that she had misspelled "your" as... more»
Coworkers Unable To Put Finger On What's Weird About Gary

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News In Brief

WANTAGH, NY–For the third straight week, Gary Thurlow's coworkers at Liberty Travel remain unable to pin down what's weird about him. "I can't... more»
Mountaintop Retreat With Maharishi Leaves Greenspan Obsessed With Rupee

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC–Returning from a two-week retreat at the top of Nanda Devi in the Indian state of Himachal Pradesh with mentor Maharishi Mahesh... more»
Child Disciplined For Wasting Yarn

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News In Photos
Soda Nearing Room Temperature

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | News In Photos
Did Six Million Really Visit The Holocaust Museum?

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | Commentary

Did six million people really visit the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum since it opened in April 1993? That's what the United States... more»
Maybe This Appearance On Jenny Jones Is Just What My Marriage Needs

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | Commentary

My husband Cal and I have been going through some pretty tough times in our marriage lately. For the past three months, Cal's been cheating on me... more»
My Son! My Son!

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | Columnists

The Zweibel Estate is no longer merry and gay. The weeping willows droop even lower to-day. The milk-maids' tears mix with the milk in their buckets.... more»
Horoscope for the week of April 12, 2000

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | Horoscopes

You will bring shame to your town coroner by causing him to laugh uncontrollably throughout your autopsy. more»
Biotech Foods

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | Infographic

Genetically modified fruits and vegetables are an increasingly common sight on supermarket shelves. What is their appeal? more»
How About The Rack On That Blonde?

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | Statshot
Wall Street's Wild Ride

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | What Do You Think?

The Dow and Nasdaq have been extremely volatile of late, plunging one minute and soaring the next. What do you think of all the wild... more»
Personal-Safety Tips

issue 3613 | 04.12.00 | Tips

In today's crime-ridden world, personal safety is more important than ever. Here are some tips to help you protect yourself: more»