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September 27, 2000 - October 3, 2000 | Issue 36•34

Graphic Designer's Judgment Clouded By Desire To Use New Photoshop Plug-In

CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OH–The aesthetic judgment of Paul Gaskill, a graphic designer working on a brochure for Valley View Apartments, was "severely clouded" by a desire to use a new Adobe Photoshop plug-in, coworkers at Blue Moon Design said Monday. "Looking at this brochure, it's obvious Paul just wanted to use the 'wave' frame effect from that new PhotoFrame 2.0...

Gore Wondering If Latest Doonesbury Is About Him

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News

WASHINGTON, DC–With his lead in presidential polls narrowing to just four points over Republican challenger George W. Bush, an already anxious Al... more»
More U.S. Children Being Diagnosed With Youthful Tendency Disorder

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News

REDLANDS, CA–Nicholas and Beverly Serna's daughter Caitlin was only four years old, but they already knew there was a problem. more»
Man Ashamed Of Own Joy Upon Receiving New Mop Head

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News

GAINESVILLE, FL–Hamilton's Bar & Grill dishwasher and prep cook Cory Akers experienced a fleeting moment of joy, followed by a deep and abiding... more»
'Farm Aid Aid' Concert To Benefit Struggling Farm Aid Concerts

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News In Brief

INDIANAPOLIS–A special Farm Aid Aid concert will be held Oct. 3 in Indianapolis to raise money for America's struggling Farm Aid concerts, event... more»
IOC: Many Viewers May Be Using Olympics-Enhancing Drugs

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News In Brief

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA–The International Olympic Committee announced Monday that it will launch a full-scale investigation in the wake of allegations of... more»
Bathroom Smells Like Shit

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News In Brief

GALENA PARK, TX–The second-floor men's room of a Sysco Vending office building smells like shit, disgusted employee Art McCune reported Tuesday.... more»
First Draft Of Paper Inadvertently Becomes Final Draft

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News In Brief

EUGENE, OR–The first draft of an English 140 paper by University of Oregon sophomore Mindy Blain ultimately became the final draft, Blain reported... more»
Cool Ashtray Found

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News In Brief

HAMTRAMCK, MI–An afternoon trip to the Joseph Campau Street St. Vincent's thrift shop netted a cool ashtray Tuesday. "Dude, it totally looks like... more»
Grandma Pulls Pudding Roll-Ups From Recesses Of Cupboard

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News In Brief

SHIVELY, KY–Searching for a treat for her 12-year-old grandchild, Edna Leigh retrieved a dusty, faded box of circa-1988 Betty Crocker-brand Pudding... more»
All-Beef Patty 70 Percent Beef

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News In Photos
Yngwie Malmsteen Officially Changes Middle Name To 'Fucking'

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | News In Photos
I Just Love The New Channel 29 News At Noon Set

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | Commentary

As a regular viewer of Channel 29 News At Noon, I must say that I am very impressed by the revamped set. When I tuned in Monday for my daily... more»
Screw Charity!

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | Columnists

I must admit that my relationship with my man-servant Standish has been strained ever since he won a kingly fortune in a sweep-stakes last year. In... more»
Horoscope for the week of September 27, 2000

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | Horoscopes

When all is said and done, you're going to miss the Whitewater investigation. more»
The New Energy Crisis

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | Infographic

With winter approaching and oil prices at a 10-year high, the U.S. faces a major energy crisis. What is the government doing to combat the problem? more»
Top Improv-Comedy Audience Suggestions

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | Statshot
A Year Without Movies Or TV?

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | What Do You Think?

Hollywood is on edge over potential actors' and writers' strikes next year, which would cripple the television and film industries. What do... more»
Dental-Hygiene Tips

issue 3634 | 09.27.00 | Tips

As the old saying goes, "Ignore your teeth, and they'll go away." Here are some helpful hints for keeping that smile bright and healthy for years to... more»