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April 25, 2001 - May 1, 2001 | Issue 37•15

Area Woman Judges Everything By Whether It's Cute

EAU CLAIRE, WI–Sharon Sczerba evaluates everything on the basis of cuteness, sources close to the 36-year-old Eau Claire woman reported Monday. According to friends, Sczerba uses the word "cute" more than 150 times a day, applying it to everything from such traditionally cute items as infants and stuffed animals to such non-traditional items as board games, soft-drink...

Gay-Pride Parade Sets Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays Back 50 Years

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | News

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA–The mainstream acceptance of gays and lesbians, a hard-won civil-rights victory gained through decades of struggle against... more»
Best-Laid Plans Of Mice And Men Faulted In 747 Crash

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—The National Transportation Safety Board cited "fate's cruel hand" as the cause of a 747 crash. more»
Area Father Must Have Read Some Drug-Slang Brochure Or Something

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | News

DECATUR, GA–Rodney Dunbar, a 46-year-old civil engineer and father of two, "must have read some drug-slang pamphlet or something," his children... more»
Antarctic Observational Comic Running Out Of Ideas

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | News In Brief

BYRD, ANTARCTICA–Brad Swithers, three-time winner of the Molson Ice/Edge Gel South Pole Laff-Off, said Monday that he is running out of ideas for... more»
Restaurant, Staff Patronized

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | News In Brief

BOSTON–Attorney Derrick Carlisle patronized the Riverside Café and five members of its staff Monday. "Excuse me, but I've always been under the... more»
Grimacing Congressman Quickly Drafts Legislation For Charley-Horse Research

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC–Grimacing in considerable pain Monday, Rep. William Delahunt (D-MA) quickly drafted and introduced the 2001 Charley Horse Research... more»
Depressed NRA Member Half-Hoping Son Will Accidentally Shoot Him

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | News In Brief

ROUND ROCK, TX–Despondent from the loss of his job and his recent divorce, National Rifle Association lifetime member Patrick Schramm is... more»
Bananas Again Sweep Primates' Choice Awards

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | News In Brief

LOS ANGELES–In a gala, chimp-studded affair at the Shrine Auditorium, bananas swept the Primates' Choice Awards for the 42nd year in a row Monday,... more»
Mason-Dixon Line Renamed IHOP-Waffle House Line

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | News In Photos
First Chapter In History Of Sino-American War Of 2011 Already Written

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | News In Photos
These Nerf Guns Really Liven Up The Office

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | Commentary

When you're a manager at a software company, boosting employee morale is a full-time job. The best way to keep everyone focused and productive, I... more»
All Women Don't Know What They're Missing

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | Commentary

It's a situation we've all been in before: You see a pretty woman in a bar, mall, grocery store, restaurant, library, laundromat, bowling alley, car... more»
Horoscope for the week of April 25, 2001

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | Horoscopes

You will learn that you are 1/64th Chippewa. Honor your heritage by finding a use for every part of the burrito. more»
The Organ-Donor Crisis

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | Infographic

The U.S. is critically low on organ donations. What is the nation's medical community doing to address the shortage? more»
What Are We Talking About Other Than Survivor?

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | Statshot
The Cincinnati Riots

issue 3715 | 04.25.01 | What Do You Think?

Riots erupted in Cincinnati last week following the shooting death of an unarmed black man by police officers. What do you think about the... more»