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December 5, 2001 - December 11, 2001 | Issue 37•44

Area Liberal Worried His Asian Dry Cleaner Doesn't Like Him

SAN FRANCISCO—Despite his open-mindedness and deep commitment to multiculturalism, Steve Bern, 32, expressed fear Monday that Rei Luo, the Chinese woman who does his dry cleaning, does not like him. , I'm always very friendly," Bern said. "I say hello and ask her how she's doing, but she never reciprocates. She...

Woman In Burqa Condemns Woman In Chador

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | News

GHAZNI, AFGHANISTAN—Outraged by the recent loosening of dress codes in her country, burqa wearer Uliya Salah condemned fellow Afghani Raheela Asaad... more»
Children, Creepy Middle-Aged Weirdos Swept Up In Harry Potter Craze

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | News

HOLLYWOOD, CA—The fantastical universe created by J.K. Rowling speaks to the child in all of us, whether young or way too old. more»
Lone Smart Aleck Ruins RV Hall Of Fame For Serious Visitors

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | News

ELKHART, IN—Comments like "Man, this is even cooler than the Thermos Hall Of Fame" did not endear a lone wiseacre to interested tourists. more»
Polish Rapper Under Fire For Use Of The Word 'Polack'

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | News In Brief

DETROIT— MC Krakow, a popular Detroit-based rapper of Polish descent, came under fire Tuesday for his use of the word 'Polack' on his new album... more»
Aspiring Legislator Keeps Sending Unsolicited Bills To House Of Representatives

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | News In Brief

WOOSTER, OH— Andy Roenicke, a 23-year-old aspiring federal legislator, sent an unsolicited tax-reform bill to House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL)... more»
Guy At Bank Has Weird Hair For Guy Who Works At Bank

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | News In Brief

MODESTO, CA— Marc Kohle, a bank teller at Modesto First Federal, has weird hair for a guy who works at a bank, customers reported Monday. "Huh,"... more»
Man Surprised To Hear Himself Tell Matt Damon He's A 'Big Fan'

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | News In Brief

LOS ANGELES— Moments after encountering Matt Damon in a Century Plaza elevator Monday, local resident Andre Waller expressed bafflement that he had... more»
All Proceeds No Longer Going To Charity

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | News In Brief

NEW YORK— Nearly three months after the Sept. 11 disaster, traditional capitalism is reasserting itself, as profits are once again being kept by... more»
Gender Of Person In Ronald McDonald Costume Unclear

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | News In Photos
Barnes & Noble Creates Stripper/Prostitute Memoir Section

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | News In Photos
Who Says Java Programmers Don't Have A Sense Of Humor?

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | Commentary

I've heard the stereotypes about Java programmers being uptight nerds who don't know how to cut loose. Well, that's about as far from the truth as... more»
America Is Ready To Laugh At Me Again

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | Commentary

In my short life, I've endured more than my share of mockery. I've been husky for the entirety of my 11 years on this planet, a circumstance that has... more»
Horoscope for the week of December 5, 2001

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | Horoscopes

Your life will be lauded by parents' groups for containing no sex, drugs, profanity, violence, or adult situations. more»
Improving Olympic Security

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | Infographic

The events of Sept. 11 have prompted a secutiry overhaul for the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt lake City. Among the measures: more»
How Hard Are We Rocking?

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | Statshot
The Human-Cloning Controversy

issue 3744 | 12.05.01 | What Do You Think?

Last week, scientists announced the first-ever cloning of a human embryo, which they hope to mine for stem cells to treat diseases. What do... more»